Monday, October 17, 2011

work @ 11:25 PM

some 5 years ago i told myself that i never want to have to wake up everyday and drag myself myself to work. that if i ever felt that way, i should leave.

i wished my job was more simple. i wished it wouldn't be one which i'm supposed to be the "role model".

then, i wouldn't have to care. then, i could just do it for the money, which actually isn't all that much if you divide it by the number of man-hours.

i really am my worse enemy.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

2011 and beyond @ 10:43 PM

it's the beginning of a new year yet again.

been away for slightly over a month but somehow i don't feel as recharged as i should be. i guess a large part of this is because i've been coughing for almost 2 months now.

anyway, i thought i'd be a little excited after counting down for 2.5 years, with only 6 more months to go. instead i find myself standing at a crossroad, not knowing where to head. i'm definitely apprehensive... one step in the wrong direction and i may find the world as i know crashing down on me.

i've been asked about my decision a number of times at work. the answer still hasn't changed: undecided. but i've added a "made some plans but not sure if it'll work out".

feeling a little uneasy about monday. the results could well determine which path i'll take.

Monday, November 15, 2010

fading anticipation @ 10:58 PM

i'd been looking forward so much to this trip. i'd wanted to get as far as i could away from work. but now, i'm not so sure about going away anymore. not for this long, and to where i'm headed. there seems to be a lot of uncertainty, and i believe stressful times ahead.

in any case, it's all too late now. the tickets have long been booked. just have to hope for the best without expecting too much i suppose.

gone through the usual routine of writing my cards. the list seems to get shorter each year. not sure if it's something i should be happy about. it's less work, but i guess this is something i'd never complain about doing too much of.

gonna get mum to post them nearer Christmas so look out for them in your mail yeah? they'll probably reach you before i'm back.

i'll miss you loads while i'm gone. keep in touch with fb or something yeah?

Monday, October 11, 2010

deafening silence @ 9:23 PM

everything seems to be slowing down around me. i guess i ought to see it as something positive. but yet... it creates a deafening silence.

perhaps it's time for drastic changes. then again, i hate change.

the irony. dang it

Monday, August 30, 2010

missing you... @ 9:08 PM

i realise i'm missing a number of people to a rather large extent.
i've also realise that no matter how much time you spend with friends, it's never enough.
i've finally come to understand that it's always "too long" till the next outing/meeting with friends.

if you're reading this... i miss you.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

hols? @ 10:22 PM

it's been a hectic 1st 2 weeks of break.
next week's a short "breather" then it's back to work-related stuff.
even the "breather" isn't really a breather. cuz there's still tonnes of work that needs clearing.

sigh...
don't even know if i'll have the time and energy to prepare for work once the break ends.

this is sooooo crappy. it feels and seems like forever to the break at the end of the year. those who're in my line of work will know that the September break isn't a break. lotsa preparation for the majors in the last quarter.

oh well... please God help make it to the end of the year. =(

Thursday, March 04, 2010

of tears and crying @ 10:07 PM

seeing people dear to me cry makes me wanna cry too.
i wasn't touched by the story.
i was touched by all your actions... i can't remember the last time i got this many hugs.
must have looked silly with the tears welling up my eyes.
oh well...

praying that you'd all do well.
don't let this session be a "once off" thing.
continue to work hard.
i'm behind you.
you're probably what's keeping me sane in this madness.
hoping that i have the strength and stamina to continue this journey with you.

Monday, October 17, 2011

work @ 11:25 PM

some 5 years ago i told myself that i never want to have to wake up everyday and drag myself myself to work. that if i ever felt that way, i should leave.

i wished my job was more simple. i wished it wouldn't be one which i'm supposed to be the "role model".

then, i wouldn't have to care. then, i could just do it for the money, which actually isn't all that much if you divide it by the number of man-hours.

i really am my worse enemy.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

2011 and beyond @ 10:43 PM

it's the beginning of a new year yet again.

been away for slightly over a month but somehow i don't feel as recharged as i should be. i guess a large part of this is because i've been coughing for almost 2 months now.

anyway, i thought i'd be a little excited after counting down for 2.5 years, with only 6 more months to go. instead i find myself standing at a crossroad, not knowing where to head. i'm definitely apprehensive... one step in the wrong direction and i may find the world as i know crashing down on me.

i've been asked about my decision a number of times at work. the answer still hasn't changed: undecided. but i've added a "made some plans but not sure if it'll work out".

feeling a little uneasy about monday. the results could well determine which path i'll take.

Monday, November 15, 2010

fading anticipation @ 10:58 PM

i'd been looking forward so much to this trip. i'd wanted to get as far as i could away from work. but now, i'm not so sure about going away anymore. not for this long, and to where i'm headed. there seems to be a lot of uncertainty, and i believe stressful times ahead.

in any case, it's all too late now. the tickets have long been booked. just have to hope for the best without expecting too much i suppose.

gone through the usual routine of writing my cards. the list seems to get shorter each year. not sure if it's something i should be happy about. it's less work, but i guess this is something i'd never complain about doing too much of.

gonna get mum to post them nearer Christmas so look out for them in your mail yeah? they'll probably reach you before i'm back.

i'll miss you loads while i'm gone. keep in touch with fb or something yeah?

Monday, October 11, 2010

deafening silence @ 9:23 PM

everything seems to be slowing down around me. i guess i ought to see it as something positive. but yet... it creates a deafening silence.

perhaps it's time for drastic changes. then again, i hate change.

the irony. dang it

Monday, August 30, 2010

missing you... @ 9:08 PM

i realise i'm missing a number of people to a rather large extent.
i've also realise that no matter how much time you spend with friends, it's never enough.
i've finally come to understand that it's always "too long" till the next outing/meeting with friends.

if you're reading this... i miss you.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

hols? @ 10:22 PM

it's been a hectic 1st 2 weeks of break.
next week's a short "breather" then it's back to work-related stuff.
even the "breather" isn't really a breather. cuz there's still tonnes of work that needs clearing.

sigh...
don't even know if i'll have the time and energy to prepare for work once the break ends.

this is sooooo crappy. it feels and seems like forever to the break at the end of the year. those who're in my line of work will know that the September break isn't a break. lotsa preparation for the majors in the last quarter.

oh well... please God help make it to the end of the year. =(

Thursday, March 04, 2010

of tears and crying @ 10:07 PM

seeing people dear to me cry makes me wanna cry too.
i wasn't touched by the story.
i was touched by all your actions... i can't remember the last time i got this many hugs.
must have looked silly with the tears welling up my eyes.
oh well...

praying that you'd all do well.
don't let this session be a "once off" thing.
continue to work hard.
i'm behind you.
you're probably what's keeping me sane in this madness.
hoping that i have the strength and stamina to continue this journey with you.