Sunday, November 25, 2007

long awaited weekend? @ 12:50 PM

i had thought that this weekend was something was something i was eagerly awaiting and one that i'd would be filled with plans and more plans. oddly, it's been a pretty quiet weekend. though i did meet 3 very important people for meals - mum and godfather for lunch yesterday and my ahma for dinner. she's going away on monday on a trip to vietnam with my grandaunt and some other people. so i thought i take her out for a meal. sadly even though i made an effort to go out them, i must say i wasn't in a wonderful mood.

i think it's the lack of sleep. until friday and yesterday night which i slept around 7 hours each, the past 4 nights earlier in the week i had slept perhaps around a total of 14 hours. minimum was 2 hours of sleep i think. maybe it's also because the adrenaline has run out and my body is giving up. today at mass i had such a sudden onset of giddiness and nausea while kneeling i really felt like i was gonna faint. chest tightening, head spinning and on the verge of throwing up all over myself. i hurriedly finished my prayers and sat down.

in any case, i think i'm holding up pretty okay. in the past i think i'd already be down with flu, cough and fever. anyway, physically pain/discomfort i can deal with. it's the rest that i have to learn to get better at.

i realise that as i frequent all your blogs, you all too frequent mine.
i want you all to be happy more than i want myself to be happy.
from now,
i'll try my very best, to post only happy things and thoughts here.
i will try to smile through the tears/frustration/anger.

i'm probably the last person who should give any sort of advice on relationships of all sorts.
i'm quite a terrible friend really.

a quote for myself to remember:
"the hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do." ~ Nan Fairbother

"its better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all"? this is something so often heard. but i dunno how the extent to which it holds.

that's it for now. *cheers all* be happy. always.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

long awaited weekend? @ 12:50 PM

i had thought that this weekend was something was something i was eagerly awaiting and one that i'd would be filled with plans and more plans. oddly, it's been a pretty quiet weekend. though i did meet 3 very important people for meals - mum and godfather for lunch yesterday and my ahma for dinner. she's going away on monday on a trip to vietnam with my grandaunt and some other people. so i thought i take her out for a meal. sadly even though i made an effort to go out them, i must say i wasn't in a wonderful mood.

i think it's the lack of sleep. until friday and yesterday night which i slept around 7 hours each, the past 4 nights earlier in the week i had slept perhaps around a total of 14 hours. minimum was 2 hours of sleep i think. maybe it's also because the adrenaline has run out and my body is giving up. today at mass i had such a sudden onset of giddiness and nausea while kneeling i really felt like i was gonna faint. chest tightening, head spinning and on the verge of throwing up all over myself. i hurriedly finished my prayers and sat down.

in any case, i think i'm holding up pretty okay. in the past i think i'd already be down with flu, cough and fever. anyway, physically pain/discomfort i can deal with. it's the rest that i have to learn to get better at.

i realise that as i frequent all your blogs, you all too frequent mine.
i want you all to be happy more than i want myself to be happy.
from now,
i'll try my very best, to post only happy things and thoughts here.
i will try to smile through the tears/frustration/anger.

i'm probably the last person who should give any sort of advice on relationships of all sorts.
i'm quite a terrible friend really.

a quote for myself to remember:
"the hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do." ~ Nan Fairbother

"its better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all"? this is something so often heard. but i dunno how the extent to which it holds.

that's it for now. *cheers all* be happy. always.